Funny quotes about mariage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Getting married is like buying a car. Once you get it off the lot, you're sure you could have gotten a better deal!

Funny famous quotes

Funny famous quotes by Voltaire:

I hate women because they always know where things are.

Business is the salt of life.

Better is the enemy of good.

When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

History is only the register of crimes and misfortunes.

Funny famous quotes by Steven Wright

Funny famous quotes bt Steven Wright:

Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, “Hello?” and I said,”Hello, could I speak to Joey?”… They said, “Uh… I don’t think so… he’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking”, but I don’t have that much time.

I mixed this glass of water myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don’t trust anybody!

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes…

Funny famous quotes

Famous quotes by Henry Ford:

Don't find fault, find a remedy.

Money is like an arm or a leg - use it or lose it.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.

Famous quotes

Famous quotes by Winston Churchill

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.

It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

Famous quotes

Famous quotes by Oscar Wilde:

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.