Funny quotes

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.                                      Groucho Marx

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.                     Casey Stengel

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.    Jay Leno

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.                                        Steven Wright

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.                                                                  Mark Twain